My Svadhyaya (Self-Study)

The fourth branch of Niyama is self-study, also called svadhyaya.  First, we need to understand that our environment and experiences shape us.  We often judge what is right and wrong, believing it to be true because of how we were raised and taught to believe.  This does not mean that other cultures’ ways are wrong; they are just different, and we must learn to accept this.  Part of this is having a “beginner’s mind,” humbly knowing that we indeed know very little or perhaps nothing at all.  This opens the doors of our minds to learning, growth and revelation.

Through my self-study and journal assignments, I've learned quite a few things about myself, particularly regarding meditation. A few months ago, I went to my first meditation class and did not like it because I did not feel successful. I had a hard time sitting still, quieting my mind, and honestly wanted to get up and make a list of all the things I felt like I should've been doing instead. Since then, I have been to two other classes with two different teachers. (Experiencing meditation through their different teaching practices was also helpful.) One teacher specifically broke up the hour of meditation into a few different types of meditation: guided, walking, etc. This was a huge relief to me. Why? Because I can DO 15-20 minutes :)

On Saturday and Sunday mornings before we begin our morning practice for Yoga Teacher Training, we meditate for 15 minutes. I didn't think anything of it at first. Here I am two weeks later with a totally different perspective: I find myself now looking forward to those 15 minutes of silence and peace. I know that I'm going to wake up, get ready, drive and then PAUSE for 15 minutes before my mind is required to do anything else. It is now something that I would like to make a part of my daily schedule, even if it's just 5-10 minutes in the morning while I drink my cup of coffee (which I usually do anyway, but now my coffee time will be a more purposeful time). 

Another good time for me to sit and just be is right before bed. I must say that over the last few months, I have been sleeping much better, probably partly because this is a busy season in my life. It has been a slow progression since I started exercising regularly a few years ago. I used to suck at sleeping period. Once I started running, I would exhaust myself enough to sleep well on running days but not on non-running days. As I've been doing yoga more regularly, I've noticed:

-at first, I had a hard time falling asleep, but once asleep, I would stay asleep
-now, I fall asleep much more easily and get quality sleep, sometimes to the point of waking up naturally at about 5am. I usually get out of bed after 6, so if I can't fall back asleep, resting for an extra hour (and cuddling with my husband and pup) is fine, especially since I've already gotten quality sleep for 7-8 hours
-I may be considered lame because sometimes I go to bed around 9pm


One thing I am struggling with right now is finding balance between yoga and running. For the past few months, I have not been running regularly compared to the last five years. I believe that time off can be beneficial in some ways, but I need to find a way to do a little bit of both because I know the importance of regular cardio vascular activity. Since my time is limited now, I'm hoping to start training for some summer races in April or May. I'm excited to see how yoga compliments my running, although I may have to start out slow again. The good news is I've reached a point in my running now that I'm okay with that. I don't need to beat my PR or be in the top 25% anymore; I just need to run for me. That is certainly something I've learned through yoga, and I am thankful to see that my yoga practice is benefiting me in various areas of my life.

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Finding Santosha: Contentment

Sometimes, being happy is hard. We live in a busy world, and let's face it: life is complicated (that's why I do yoga--because it is easy). We've created a world where we have a zillion things to do, zero time and not much energy. So how can we be happy in this state? It's all in the mind.

The second part of Niyama is contentment (santosha).  Instead of looking around and imagining what we need to be happy, we should find enjoyment with where we are in life and what we have.  Western culture has trained us to “get ready to live,” as a famous Chinese proverb states.  We are always looking to what is next rather than enjoying our current state of being. It is not the world around us and others in it that meet our needs.  Contentment needs to come from inner peace within.  One way to find contentment is to be grateful for what we have and appreciate it by slowing down.  Nowadays, technology has taken much of our time and we are in constant communication with others but not with ourselves.  Finding contentment can be as simple as finding calmness and peace in a busy world by meditating, stopping to appreciate the small things in life, etc.

We often think that the grass is greener on the other side: if only we had ____ (fill in the blank), we would be happy or feel like we've "made it". It reminds me of some lyrics by the Vandals in the song, "Let the Bad Times Roll:"

 "The grass is never greener on the other side...I'll stay right here and frolic in the dirt and gravel."

(Read more: The Vandals - Let The Bad Times Roll Lyrics | MetroLyrics)

No matter what it is that you think will make you happy, if it something you think you can put your finger on, you've probably got it all wrong.  Santosha teaches that happiness comes from within, so rather than feeling "jealous" of what others have or thinking "so-and-so" has it all together and if only you could have his/her life, think again (they are likely thinking the same about you).

We play this unhealthy game in our minds with countless things: if only we had x amount of money, a certain job, a certain body, etc.  It is disturbing that women in particular play this game by wishing we looked like the girl on the cover of the magazine.  Well, honestly, she may have a photo shopped six-pack, but she also probably thinks she is fat (because they had to photo shop her and put make up on her body for two hours).  Sadly, it's all relative, and just as the saying goes, we always want what we don't got.

If you'd like to make it a routine to find gratitude and be one step closer to contentment each day, consider downloading the app "Gratitude 365."  It takes about a minute a day and encourages you to think of ONE thing each day that you are grateful for.  I try to do it each night so that I can go to bed with a positive attitude and have sweet dreams.  

If you have trouble thinking of things you are thankful for, consider your basic human needs that are met daily that you may overlook: clean air, clean water, a home, food, etc.  For my yoga certification class, I had to write a list of 20 things I am grateful for.  It was hard at first, but then I suddenly was on a roll!  If you need some ideas, check out this website:

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/60-things-thankful-for-life.html

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Non-Possessiveness: Aparigrapha

My goal is to keep this sweet and simple~ (once you read, you might understand why)

Aparigrapha is another favorite branch of Yama.  It follows after non-excess and rightfully so.  In fact, I often get the two mixed up.  The ideas from non-excess bleed into non-possessiveness because they both require us to appreciate the little things in life without overdoing them and without becoming obsessed.

It's easy to think highly of ourselves and imagine we are not possessive of anything.  However, if there is something you think you can't live without, that is exactly the very thing you probably need to let go of.  (I almost had a panic attack yesterday when I thought I lost my phone; we found it on the ground outside lol).  While there are many actual "things" we think we can't live without, there are also more abstract items in life we think we need to hold on to, such as our self image/pride, feelings, agendas, etc. Aparigrapha asks us to let go of these things, so we can enjoy each moment fully and be ready for what is next.

Put simply: pack lightly for the journey of life (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.) so that you can enjoy it.

Quote of the day:
“Make it easy; don’t take anything, not even plans” (pg. 97)

Non-excess: Brahmacharya

I came home today and read the next chapter in my book, about the fourth "branch" of yama (restrains).  My goal has been to pace myself with my yoga readings, so I am finished with most of the books before I start my training next week.  Little did I know when I ordered and cracked open these books, that I would be opening up a new can of obsession.  Each and every branch has felt like exactly what I needed to hear on the given day.  Funny how that works.

While this branch is mostly associated with celibacy or abstinence, brahmacharya literally means "walking with God."  Even though I can't pronounce this branch, it is my new favorite one.  It's foundation is built on something I've been incorporating into my life most recently with food.  I think our eating habits are one of the worse ways that we practice excess regularly.  Everyone has their weakness, whether it is work, exercise, sleep, technology, social media, even spirituality.  Some people are even obsessed with being busy (so guilty of this one).  Our goal should be to find balance in the things that keep us alive and happy.  For example, food is meant to nourish our bodies, and we should do that by eating the right amount of the right foods.  I can go on and on about this, but I'll leave it at that.

Why do we move past the place of "enough" into "excess?"  Why do we become addicted to things that make us happy and then overdose on them?  Put simply, our mind plays tricks on us.  It makes us think that if we eat that last bit or lose those last five pounds or get that pay increase, that we will be happy.  But then as soon as we reach that place, we suddenly want more.  That's what we have been brainwashed to believe, that we always need more.

We live in a society that is obsessed with busyness.  We feel great at the end of the day, after we've accomplished so many things...but really, how have we made any gains if everything was about us and meeting our needs?  We make ourselves busy because we want to feel important, like we've made a difference, again making it about us.

I like how Vimalananda put it: In this country, you wear God on your wrist.  It's true!  We are slaves to time, our clocks and other electronics.  Time is not running out; we just need to embrace it and prioritize and then enjoy it.

Author Adele states that if we find ourselves living in overindulgence, the best way to reset is to start from zero again.  Yes, that may mean "fasting" or resting for some, but the idea is to realize we will be okay if we don't have everything we want when we want it.  It is a great way to cleanse the body/mind/spirit, pause, and give thanks for what we have; "when gratitude and wonder sit in the heart, there is no need for excess" (pg. 83).

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