My Svadhyaya (Self-Study)

The fourth branch of Niyama is self-study, also called svadhyaya.  First, we need to understand that our environment and experiences shape us.  We often judge what is right and wrong, believing it to be true because of how we were raised and taught to believe.  This does not mean that other cultures’ ways are wrong; they are just different, and we must learn to accept this.  Part of this is having a “beginner’s mind,” humbly knowing that we indeed know very little or perhaps nothing at all.  This opens the doors of our minds to learning, growth and revelation.

Through my self-study and journal assignments, I've learned quite a few things about myself, particularly regarding meditation. A few months ago, I went to my first meditation class and did not like it because I did not feel successful. I had a hard time sitting still, quieting my mind, and honestly wanted to get up and make a list of all the things I felt like I should've been doing instead. Since then, I have been to two other classes with two different teachers. (Experiencing meditation through their different teaching practices was also helpful.) One teacher specifically broke up the hour of meditation into a few different types of meditation: guided, walking, etc. This was a huge relief to me. Why? Because I can DO 15-20 minutes :)

On Saturday and Sunday mornings before we begin our morning practice for Yoga Teacher Training, we meditate for 15 minutes. I didn't think anything of it at first. Here I am two weeks later with a totally different perspective: I find myself now looking forward to those 15 minutes of silence and peace. I know that I'm going to wake up, get ready, drive and then PAUSE for 15 minutes before my mind is required to do anything else. It is now something that I would like to make a part of my daily schedule, even if it's just 5-10 minutes in the morning while I drink my cup of coffee (which I usually do anyway, but now my coffee time will be a more purposeful time). 

Another good time for me to sit and just be is right before bed. I must say that over the last few months, I have been sleeping much better, probably partly because this is a busy season in my life. It has been a slow progression since I started exercising regularly a few years ago. I used to suck at sleeping period. Once I started running, I would exhaust myself enough to sleep well on running days but not on non-running days. As I've been doing yoga more regularly, I've noticed:

-at first, I had a hard time falling asleep, but once asleep, I would stay asleep
-now, I fall asleep much more easily and get quality sleep, sometimes to the point of waking up naturally at about 5am. I usually get out of bed after 6, so if I can't fall back asleep, resting for an extra hour (and cuddling with my husband and pup) is fine, especially since I've already gotten quality sleep for 7-8 hours
-I may be considered lame because sometimes I go to bed around 9pm


One thing I am struggling with right now is finding balance between yoga and running. For the past few months, I have not been running regularly compared to the last five years. I believe that time off can be beneficial in some ways, but I need to find a way to do a little bit of both because I know the importance of regular cardio vascular activity. Since my time is limited now, I'm hoping to start training for some summer races in April or May. I'm excited to see how yoga compliments my running, although I may have to start out slow again. The good news is I've reached a point in my running now that I'm okay with that. I don't need to beat my PR or be in the top 25% anymore; I just need to run for me. That is certainly something I've learned through yoga, and I am thankful to see that my yoga practice is benefiting me in various areas of my life.

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