It's been a little over a month since I finished my Yoga Teacher Training. While graduation came at the perfect time, it was a busy time...right as school was ending...meaning I suddenly was in summer mode! Since gradutation, I've continue to attend classes at the studio where I am a member (Anchorage Yoga, love them, click here to view their website), although I did take a bit of a break for myself by going a little less often and doing some cycle classes instead of yoga to mix it up. I wanted to make sure I didn't yoga myself out. Sometimes, for me, doing things 150% for x amount of time burns me out, and then it takes a long time to get back into a healthy routine. I didn't want yoga to become that; I want it to be a practice that I continue regularly and indefinitely. Like forever.
There are not many things that I want to do forever. I know I can't run forever, and I know one day I'll have to slow down. But there are a handful of things that are my forever. One of them is my husband. The other is yoga.
Yoga has brought me so much joy and self-realization, more so than any other experience. I've learned not only about how to care for myself, but how to become a little more grounded in this crazy world and life. I've created bonds with others in a short amount of time. I've learned to talk less and listen more (something that is really hard for me). I've learned how to reflect and not always think about myself. But most importantly, I've learned (more like re-learned) that I have and will always be good enough. How/why I ever doubted this...I have no idea.
While I was really excited once I officially signed up for teaching training, inside, a small part of me was mortified. I kept getting these thoughts like, "what if I'm not good enough" or "what if I'm not ready; I should wait until next year once I am better." It's been a long time since someone told me the words "you are good enough," and that was something that was instilled in us by our teachers daily. I can't speak for everyone else's experience, but that was what I was looking for--that was what I needed to hear. And that is what our teachers believed. They knew we were there looking for something, and they offered themselves wholeheartedly. That is not something that you encounter everyday--individuals that are selfless and genuinely want to support others on their journey. My teachers were the perfect example of self-less love and devotion for others, something that is an important element of living yoga. I've obtained a number of degrees and certifications in the last 31 years; out of all of them, this one has been the most important for many reasons. It wasn't to make me "qualified" for a job (although it did that) or to help me learn something that I would need to know (although it did that too). It helped me learn to grow, love, seek, appreciate. Life is better now that I know more about yoga because I know more about myself. And like our teacher said, "you are the most important person in your life." I might as well get comfy with myself.
Those words kinda blew my mind. Duh. While I believe that much of life is learning how we can serve others and the world around us, we can't do that if we are empty. We must learn to love ourselves so much that it overflows. Loving yourself is not always easy either; sometimes it is really freaking hard, actually. But it's a good start to figuring out this thing we call life.
I can go on and on about all of the amazing things I learned during my training, but I'll leave you with this quote that also stayed with me, something that we all need to hear, think, believe regularly:
"Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
-Max Ehrmann
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